Money can't buy happiness, but it allows you to suffer in
comfort.

The only reason "the grass is always greener on the other side of
the fence" is because there is more manure over there.

"Don't wait for the light to appear at the end of the tunnel,
stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself." -- Sara
Henderson,

BUMPER SNICKER
If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take
another road. That's why the highway department made so many of
them.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf."

"Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply
cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know." --
Unknown

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good
person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you
because you are a vegetarian. -- Dennis Wholey

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your
life in which you will be happy to hear that the phone is for
you. -- Fran Lebowitz

"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that
all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today." ~~ Dale Carnegie

If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses,
sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time"...
you're the grandma.

Trust in God -- but tie your camel tight. -- Persian proverb,

Before you have an argument with your boss, take a good
look at both sides -- your boss's side and the outside.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do
the other trees make fun of it? -- Anonymous