Confusing speech?

PART  1

==========================



"Have you ever been saved?"



"Sure. Once when I was 9, I was swimming at the beach and a strong undertow
began to drag me out to sea. My uncle heard my call and..."



"No, not that," came the interruption. "I mean redeemed, reborn, you know,
washed in the blood. Have you?"



"What in the world are you talking about?"



"Convicted, I mean. Have you ever been convicted?"



"Well, of course not. I've never been in trouble with the law."



A pause. "I think you need to be delivered."



"Delivered? I was just waiting for the bus home. I think I'll stick to that, 
thank you very much."



"No, man! Hey, I think we should have lunch together some time."



"OK."



So a time was set.



PART 2

=====================



"Sorry I'm late. I was having a quiet time, and forgot to keep track of the
clock at work."



"A quiet what?"



"You know, your prayer closet."



"You pray in a closet? At work?"



"Oh, no, it's in my car."



"You have a closet in your car?"



Another pause. "I think you'd better read this when you go home. It'll help
you get there."



PART 3

=========================



"Well, I got born again."



He was elated. "Now we're getting somewhere! So what you need now is to find
a good body."



"You mean at the local health clubs?"



PART 4

==========================



"I found a good body."



He was elated. "Now we're getting somewhere!"



"Her name is Denise. We're married."



A pause. "Well, OK. What you both need to do is to get planted somewhere."



"I'm not a plant. Why would I want to do that?"



"No, no, no. I mean committed, plugged in, you understand?"



"Not really. I'm not a toaster."



"Oh, man! Come on, we'll go to my church Sunday."



"OK."



PART 5

========================



After the service, the question came.



"Boy, God really moved, didn't He?!"



"Huh? Where did He go? I was getting to know Him, and now you're telling me
that He's gone!"



"No, man, He didn't leave! It's just that so many were stepping out and
moving in the gifts!"



"You mean people were leaving? And what's this about presents?"



"No, no, no. The gifts were really flowing, didn't you see? And didn't you
notice Denise was on fire?"



"Fire? Denise got burned? What happened? Is she OK? Did she touch the
furnace?"



"No, no, no! Denise is fine. I just think she is really called and God
really wants to use her."



"What do you mean? Did she say she was getting too many phone calls or
something? And what's this about God wanting to take advantage of her?"



A deep sigh. "I think we need to walk in the light for awhile and talk
more."



"Sure, OK, where do you want to go? We can go now; plenty of daylight
outside."



One final, deep sigh.