1. I am the Lord thy God; 
thou shouldst consider me relatively important. 

 2. Thou shouldst not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, 
unless thou art really ticked off and 
can't think of another way to let off steam. 

 3. Once in a great while thou shouldst take a break 
and listen to what I have to say
--not that thou necessarily hast to take my advice, though. 

 4. Honor thy father and thy mother,
 except when thou art blaming them for thine own dysfunction.
 
 5. Thou shouldst not kill; 
neither shouldst thou consider it necessary 
to go out of thy way to help people in need. 

 6. Thou shouldst not commit adultery, 
unless thou canst call it "serial monogamy." 

 7. Thou shouldst not steal in such a way as to get caught. 

 8. Thou shouldst not bear false witness against thy neighbor, 
except as a way to avoid dealing with thine own issues. 

 9. Thou shouldst not covet thy neighbor's possessions, 
unless they really will help thee find personal fulfillment. 

 10. Thou shouldst not covet thy neighbor's spouse 
without provocation. 
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